Archive for August 2016

Entering the World of Hearing- Learning I Have a Hearing Loss- June 1, 2016 (Part One)

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On June 1, 2016, I went to an audiology appointment.

I arranged for this appointment for one simple reason.

My sweet hubby and I had an ongoing conversation since we met, at 18 years old, that sometimes when he talks to me I cannot hear him clearly. I assumed it was because he was mumbling.

I had heard other wives share that their husbands sometimes mumble.

So of course, I was sure this was the same for us.

That weekend before I went to my appointment we were sitting in our back yard and "the" conversation came up again.

After this many years we were actually smiling about it.

Only this time it was different.

This time, my husband said to me, "Do you ever think you hear differently from the rest of the world?"

"I ask," he said, "because we have talked about this since we met as kids, and now I wonder if you have always heard differently than the rest of the world."

I smiled at him and said, "I don't think I do.  But I am happy to find out!"

I do admit his words made me pause and really reflect on if that was possible.

The first thing that came to my mind was an incident in which both of my ear drums ruptured when I was a young mom.

Maybe I suffered some damage from that, and had a mild hearing loss.

Maybe since I am getting older, that damage was getting worse, and maybe I am losing my hearing.

I did not notice any difference.

But then things can come on subtly and often we are all the last to know.

It was worth checking into.

So on Monday I called our ENT for an appointment.

They were able to see me for a hearing test on Wednesday, June 1.

I was confident this was just one of those things you do to rule out that you are not missing something or that it would be minor.

After all, I had lived a long life and not once had anyone ever suggested this to me.

Surely someone would have caught along the way.

Yes, learning was a struggle.

But life circumstances can account for that.

Losing a father at 2, and the shuffling around from school to school in the years that followed. Any child would have difficulty learning under those circumstances.

Besides, I did finally figure it out. So it was all good.

Also, I was sure it could not be possible that I had a significant hearing loss because I raised 5 children.

I not only raised them, I also home schooled all five children.

I was quite certain that in my years of parenting we would have noticed that I am hard of hearing.

I had heard my children cry right?  I heard their coos. I had to! I mean, I heard them.

I heard their first words. I did not miss these mile stones. (When I finally heard what real children cries sound like, real coos, and my children's real voices, I cried.  Wow! SO beautiful!)

I had accomplished so much in my life. How could I do this if I did not hear like the rest of the world?

I was a teacher. I was a coach.

I started non profits that were set up to help parents when they were new to the diagnosis of having a child with Down syndrome.

I spent countless hours on the phone directing the efforts. Granted, communication on a phone was always hard. But doesn't everyone struggle with communication on a phone? Mix up words?

In my mind, if I had a hearing loss, I could not do these things. There simply would be no way.

So I went into that appointment confident that I would come out with a sheet of paper that supported my theory that my husband sometimes mumbles.

Perhaps, my ear drums rupturing had left me with a mild hearing loss, that the doctors would say, yes, ask your husband to speak up because you have a mild loss, and this will help both of you.

That is not at all what took place on June 1, 2016.

What happened in that appointment changed the course of my life forever.

Not only did they inform me that I do not hear like the rest of the world, they informed me that I have a severe hearing loss.

As she told me this, my thoughts went right to when I had my ear drums rupture as a young mom.

My mind raced to think of all of the times in my life I must have damaged my ears from listening to music, or maybe cleaning them.

Severe? What happened to mild?

I felt my mind go into shock.

This had to be a mistake.

She was very sweet.

I can still remember her warm smile reflecting back at me as my heart raced to understand and quickly determine what event in my life damaged my hearing.

She very calmly, and warmly said,
"You have absolutely no damage. Which is very good news. Your ears are in perfect health. I can see one very tiny tiny scar in your left ear, where you likely had an ear infection as a child, but that is it. This will be helpful to you when you use your hearing aids."

Hearing aids?

What, what about my husband speaking up?

What about asking him to stop mumbling?

My mind continued to race.

Is this a scam? Is this how they get people to buy hearing aids?

This is not possible. I hear. I can hear you right now. I hear you telling me this.

She went on.

"Your hearing results reflect to us that this is likely genetic, and that you were either born this way, which is what we believe, or you lost your hearing at a very young age, and you have just never known anything different. We are going to have to rule out a benign tumor, because you have a severe hearing loss. I can assure you though, you do not have a benign tumor, so I don't want you to even worry about that."

She was smiling the entire time she said these words to me. Almost like she was excited for me.

At that time, I did not understand.

I do now.

Part 2 Coming Soon. Getting Fitted For Hearing Aids- June 6, 2016

I've Got Work To Do


First I want to thank all of you who have been so supportive of my new hearing journey. Your cheering me on has made all of the difference in the world, so thank you!

Finding out I have not heard like the rest of the world for some time, and likely all of my time on this earth, was such a surprise.

The greater surprise was how much work it has taken to learn to live in a world that has so many noises.

You see my world was much much quieter.

And while hearing all of the sounds I have not heard more fully seems incredible, it is also a lot of work.

The first two weeks I spent vacillating between feeling like I was possibly being scammed into buying hearing aids, and now over hearing the world, and being scared to death that the doctors missed something, and that there is something else seriously wrong with me.

I mean, who does not know that they cannot hear like the rest of the world?

This is not possible.

The emotional journey of reliving so many things from my childhood that are likely related to my hearing impairment has taken so much energy too. I have blogged about a few of the things that doctors believe are related to my hearing loss.

Hearing my own voice, the way it sounds now has even taken energy. My entire life my voice has sounded raspy and deep to me. I should pay a dollar to my daughter for each time I told her I hated my deep raspy voice. One of the first things she said to me.

I sometimes get taken aback in conversations just listening to my own voice. It is very feminine and very sweet. I would never ever in my life have described my voice that way.

So yes, getting hearing aids has been amazing, but it has also been a lot of work. One day I will share with you the physical work it has taken.

But for now, I will leave you with this awesome song!

I have shared this song on my Facebook, and I am sharing it here now.

It is my anthem.

My cousin, Amy Loftus, wrote, recorded, and sang this song.

I loved it long before I knew I could not hear it like the rest of the world, and I love it even more now.

Becoming part of the hearing world has taken a lot of work.

I have a lot more work to do.

It is a simple fact.

I've got work to do!


Design Solutions- Elise Roy

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If I could write a letter to one person, today, that person would be Elise Roy! It would go something like this:

Dear Elise Roy,

My name is Diane Grover. I am a mom to five children. I went to college and became a teacher.

I have a moderate severe hearing loss in my right ear and a severe hearing loss in my left ear.

For all of my life, I have told people that I do not like my deep and gravelly voice.

Turns out, at the age of 50, I do not have a deep and gravelly voice.

I did not know I was hard of hearing. I only went to the doctor to prove to my husband that his 31 years of mumbling needed to change. lol (We are still working on that! lol)

So now, I am about 8 weeks in the hearing world. Well as you know, the hearing the best technology will let you hear.

My friend Lizette send this to me. I sat down and listened to it right away. I know when Lizette shares something, it is probably something I will agree with. She and I agree ones much. I think we are sisters separated at birth.  But that is a whole other blog post.

So I sat down and watched it, and I have to say, "YES YES YES!!"

Thank you so much for every word you said!

I hope that the rest of the world will watch this, and learn.

Let's start accommodating for all, because as you say, it is usually what the rest of the world wants anyhow!!

Individuals with disabilities are trend setters. World, believe in us, and we will show you!

Thank you Elise for this incredible Ted Talk!